"You called me strong, you called me weak,
But still your secrets I will keep.
You took for granted all the times I never let you down.
You stumbled in and bumped your head,
If not for me then you'd be dead,
I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground.
If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?
If I’m alive and well, will you be there holding my hand?
I’ll keep you by my side with my superhuman might,
Kryptonite..."

-"Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down

Never been this sick in a long long while...4 days of fever and then cough, pounding headache and a bad sore throat. But at least, I'm better now and things are working out just fine.

During this period of sickness, got to slow things down and really reflect back on the years that I've lived. Did I live a good life? I wouldn't quite say so. I've been through ups and downs, some things I really regretted doing or not doing and there are some I was glad to have done or not have done because it leads to memories that I truly cherished. I would give up anything just to relive those moments once more. But what's the point? They are the past and one shouldn't be dwelling in it but learning from it. And yeah, if I hadn't made those mistakes, I wouldn't be who I am, where I am now.

I thought of all the arguments I had with people and broken relationships and I wonder what went wrong. Was it me? Or something else? Maybe the two of us were at fault...yet the more I think, the more I feel as though I allow people to take advantage of me, climb all over my head and I'll still be smiling. Which brings me back to the song above.

Who can I really count as my friends, those that stood by me despite my difference in the things that I choose to do, the things I choose to believe and such?

Maybe there are times I was just desperate to keep the friendship going when in truth, there is no more friendship. In a way, I'm glad I fell sick because it forces me to think and reflect. Maybe improve myself, be a better man. A better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, a better Christian. Life has really tamed me down, now that I have the time to read back to my first few journals when I was still in Primary School. It has really wisened me as well, though I admit I think I am still naive and I have a lot to learn from the people around me and especially, my mentor and my mentee.

I'm glad I didn't go to JC for the first three months. I've really had this time to find my ground, establish my identity and self-confidence. I feel recuperated to face the next phase of my life and I'm ready to go out there and just show what I'm made of to the world.

Guess that's it. Take care all.